where art collides

Thirty five minutes until breakfast. A Premier Inn breakfast. I recall it being better than a Travelodge breakfast but in the great scheme of things it will probs still just be crappy hotel fare. I will be happy to be proved wrong. Just can’t be arsed to go out and find a good caff.

We have a large, quiet bedroom on the third (top) floor looking out over the rooftops of Tooting Bec. I almost expect to see Dick Van Dyke emerging with a gang of chimney sweeps and performing a dance routine in front of us. I doubt there are any chimney sweeps left in London. If there are they would definitely need more strings to their bow. Uber driver maybe 🙂

Interestingly when I went to Waitrose in Balham yesterday afternoon there was a not insubstantial gathering of delivery riders waiting for jobs to come along. What is the collective noun for delivery people. A fleet? Doesn’t sound right in this case. You can just imagine the conversation. “I’m only doing this to fill in while I wait for my next chimney sweeping gig”.

There is a lot of hustle and bustle about the place. Drivers need eyes in the back of their heads with bikes and pedestrians coming at you out of nowhere.The pedestrians are particularly dangerous as they usually have their heads buried in their phones. 

En route to the Rose and Crown yesterday at about six o’clock there was a noticeable constant stream of people walking up from the tube station. They seemed to be mostly in their twenties and early thirties. Good pub the Rose and Crown but nine pounds thirty for a pint and a packet of nuts. Welcome to London.

…

Farewell to the south east of England. The nose of the silver bullet points north and is instinctively returning us to the shire. A busy week over. It is a Friday and the weekend beckons.

The harvest in the golden fields of Hertfordshire is well under way. A patchwork of brown stubble emerges next to lush green meadows full of grazing sheep. The next crop is already down in one field and a giant water sprayer quenches the thirsty soil.

A nice old church appears through some trees. We have been  diverted off the Great North Road by the great god Waze. Around the corner there is a sign: “historic church”. A long tailback of traffic is to be seen on the A1. Result!

Bbq tonight in Tooting. Ce soir. Vey tawk loik vat in Tootin. Actually I have no idea. Starting to ramble a bit. It’s a sign! Of something.

I have a shopping list. Someone else will do the cooking. I have three sons and a future son in law who will happily take up the mantle. I expect/hope. Should do anyway, leaving me to relax in a camping chair with a beverage.

There is a Waitrose in Balham. Gateway to the South. One might expect there to be a sign to that effect but I suspect that nowadays most residents of Balham and its environs will have no idea what I’m on about. Peter Sellers. A timeless classic. Look it up.

The diy is finished for now. A highly successful three and a half days of it. The girls excelled as a team at the painting and I did all the bits that required drilling n stuff like that. All is calm on the deck, except for the usual police car siren. Could be an ambulance I suppose. We never get to see. Sounds of the city.

We are not far from the Essex cricket ground here. As a member of Notts CCC I get in for free but Essex are playing away this week. Probs wouldn’t have had enough time to go anyway. Two weeks today I’m off to see Notts v Surrey at Trent Bridge. If anyone wants to come along let me know. I can get guest vouchers for the members area. 29th August. First day.

…

Exam results day today. We no longer have an interest in this but having seen four offspring through the system I know how stressful a time it can be. 

…

Must be years since I’ve driven through London. Central London at least. On that occasion I got stung with a congestion charge fine. Totally escaped my mind that I needed to pay the charge. It hadn’t been a thing when I’d last driven through London the time before that.

This time I discovered that everywhere had a 20mph speed limit. No idea whether there will be repercussions as I only noticed this after passing through a speed camera at twenty six mph. Hmm.

No idea why people drive in London. The Premier Inn has no parking. When we got here I parked in a staff parking bay and went in to scope the sitch. The manager said I  was fine to park there whilst unloading. Bringing the bags in the person who checked us in was not as confident as the manager so I left the girls to it and went in search of a D3 zone where our Joe had secured us a parking permit.

The nearest D3 parking was only two streets away but this was easier said than done. The high street has traffic lights every 100m or so making progress painfully slow. Streets I had intended to turn down turned out to be one way, the wrong way.

Anyway I’m ere now, in the room. When I found D3 parking there were plenty of spots so that’s ok then. The girls have gone out to find a sewing shop. The largest in London apaz. Then we are off to tooting Lido for a shiver. 90m unheated open air poo!l The things that you do for the love of a good woman 🙂

THG’s finest home made granola with yo’gurt and berries on the deck this morning. THG makes great granola. I bought the yo and the berries. My contribution. Slooking like another fine day ahead although slightly overcast right now. About five degrees warmer in Chelmsford than at home. Deep south innit.

Had a good afternoon out in the city yesterday. Work but nothing too onerous. Ended up in City Spice which apparently is the best curry house on Brick Lane, so they tell us 🙂. I had a lamb madras. Was good fair play.

Our last operational day here before moving on to Tooting tomorrow. Tooting has an open air swimming pool, the Lido, which is apparently 90m long and unheated! We are booked in at something like 3.30pm. Joy 🙂. 

We are staying at Tooting’s finest Premier Inn. It is quite a few years since I stayed at a Premier Inn. There are few options in Tooting. I seem to remember them as being a bit of a step up from a Travelodge.

I always stayed at Travelodges when at Timico. The company policy meant that Hilton’s et al were excluded on the basis of price. Senior managers would sometimes whinge about this but I would say if it was good enough for me… Haven’t stayed at a Travelodge since packing it all in ten years ago. They are pretty crap really.

Our Joe lives in Tooting hence the visit. There is a bbq in prospect with a full Davies and partners turnout. Shud be gud. Should be gould. Something like that. We are gathering in the pub ovver the road first. What’s not to like.

But that is all for tomorrow. Today is another roll up the sleeves job. Well I’m wearing a tshirt so not rolling up the sleeves per se. The sleeves are already rolled up in a tshirt aren’t they?

I have to put up some corner shelves in the bathroom and cut down some knobs whose screws are too long for their intended purpose, apaz. Tbh I’m not sure about that one yet but I haven’t really sized it up. Brought a junior hacksaw with me. The shelves will be ok. I bought some tungsten carbide tipped drill bits specially for the job. It’s always good to find an excuse to buy more tools. There is also a Sam Fender picture frame to put up and a mirror. Eat yer heart out Bob the Builder 🙂

BTW I haven’t mentioned it for a while but lots of you will already have clocked the fact that this year’s trefbash is going to be the last one. Jodie the extremely excellente graphics designer from Fuse2 is working on some options for a logo and I anticipate next month putting it to a vote aka last year.

The theme is “tropical”. I figured tropical would allow for lots of colourful creativity when it comes to fancy dress. Also lots of good music. This year the band is going to have a bigger lineup. There will be lots of dancing, tropical cocktails and great food. Not worked out what the food is going to be yet. Thoughts?

Just been to the shop. M&S food hall. Nearest gaff to where Hannah lives apart from the corner shop. The strange thing is when you hear people talk vey towk loik vis. Just like on the telly but far away from my normal experience. I am not tempted at all to imitate them.

Defo a summer in the South East smell to the morning. Clear blue sky and a hot day in prospect. We are at Hannah and George’s to help with some decorating n stuff. I’m out on their deck enjoying an early morning cuppa.

The soundtrack to the morning includes police sirens, a magpie, blue tit and a robin plus what sounds like a jet airliner. Don’t think we are all that far from Stansted here though I wouldn’t expect to be able to hear the planes. The police car has moved on.

…

Had a stroll to M&S food hall in Chelmsford. It’s only around the corner. A bit more limited than my usual stomping grounds Waitrose but it did a job and I settled in to a pot of tea in the caff before checkout.

Got some lunch stuff in but tbth not sure I’ll be wanting lunch wot with the day warming up an all. The others may well do.

There’s a bright golden haze on the meadow. The first year’s planting has been a success and bodes well for subsequent seasons. I have loads of seeds left in the box and I’ll need to consider where they might be scattered next year for further meadow growth. Meadows are defo where it’s at. Maybe I’ll distribute some in the hedgerows around the allotments. No rush.

Meanwhile the sun is out and it promises to be another glorious day in the shire. Aaaargh. We are having a leisurely breakfast. Not even started mine. Some bacon and sausage to use up. Stuff like that. Mind you not sure I really want a hot breakfast when a hot day lies ahead. Needs must.

Now sat on the deck surveying the empire. THG informs me the fire pit is still hot from Friday night so that’ll stay where it is for now. It’s a 2 man job to move it anyway. The deck is perfectly shaded at this time of day. At nine o’clock It is already a perfect temperature but will get hotter. The birds sound happy

.…

Well that’s the Olympics more or less over for another four years. Time to move on. Doubt we will watch the closing ceremony. If it is anything like the opening ceremony it won’t be worth bothering. There is a really good documentary from the footplate of the Flying Scotsman I can watch again 🙂The disappointing thing is that the football season is now starting. I’ll be concentrating on the cricket over the next few weeks. The football will wait.

Excellent bbq last night fair play. The Kadai fire pit got its only outing of the year so far. We have plenty of wood to feed it. Last night’s list included a bench, toilet seat and a chair as well as the usual bits of old fence that we have been gradually working our way through.

The bench had been in use earlier around the table on the patio. This is when we found out it was rotten and no longer much use for its originally designed purpose. It burned well.

So now I’m sat on the deck in front of the shed surveying a relatively tidy garden scene. Some of the camping chairs around the fire pit need putting away but the pit itself is still far too hot to touch.

Breakfast this morning was two cold sausages.

…

Dinner this evening was two cold sausages. In a piece of baguette. With the leftover potato salad wot I made yesterday. And the last piece of apple tartine we bought in Carrefour in Ouistreham with some double cream.

Now watching the last evening of the Olympics. Taekwondo. Not very interesting tbh. Soz if you are a fan. THG is washing blackberries in the kitch. We did another hunter gatherer expedition earlier. A goodly haul again this year. Nature’s bounty. 

Salso going to be a good apple crop. There will be apple and blackberry crumbles to keep us going through the long winter months when fruit is scarce. Vitamin C. That is a way away. Don’t really want to think wintery thoughts when we are approaching potentially the hottest day of the year. Must stock up on fluids.

I have a really good bbq marinade recipe. Works very well. Problem is I have to look it up every time and am never sure which variation it is. Involves garlic, worcester sauce, soy sauce, honey, stuff like that. There are so many variations on this main theme I suspect I end up doing my own take on it.

Up early again. The dawn chorus is a little disappointing today being seemingly mainly wood pigeons. Pesky wood pigeons. Clear blue sky up there but some rain is forecast for later, apaz. Rain being “forecast” could well mean we are in for a lovely summer’s day.

The ability to forecast is a relatively modern discipline. A hundred years ago the science would have been an art whereby a farmer would have checked to see whether the cows were standing or sitting. Ok there have been such things as barometers but not in common circulation I suspect. I might be wrong. Anyway there wasn’t a metoffice website to check, or the beeb or similar. We all have our own go to sources.

Maybe I should get a barometer for the shed. Just looked em up online and there are plenty available. I think I’ll wait until I come across one in a junk shop. Not that I go to many junk shops.

…

I would like to describe to you the very excellente breakfast wot I just had. I mashed up an avocado, added lime juice, half a very finely chopped shallot and a chopped chilli with some seasoning. Then I toasted some white sourdough and griddled some bacon, both from Lidl. Although the Lidl bacon has quite a few “bits” in it it is actually far tastier than the Tesco or Waitrose low cost equivalent with far less white crap. The whole dish was assembled with a little Belazu aged balsamic drizzled over the avocado and I broke out a new bottle of Mr Vikki’s Harry’s brown sauce. Also sliced up a couple of home grown tomatoes.

The evidence has all been eaten so no pics. I am now enjoying an espresso cawfee in the shed afore getting ready for the day.

That is all.

PS I don’t usually buy supermarket bacon but this came with a veg box and I’m not complaining.

Lots of noise coming from the allotments. I popped out yesterday or the day before and it was people from the council trimming the hedges. Hadn’t expected them to still be at it today. Might pop out there to take a peek later.

It is certainly disturbing the peace of this Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday morning (delete as appropriate). I’m sat in the conservatory in full sunshine with a fresh cup of tea by my side. There was a little drama as I tried to lift a coaster off the table to a position suitable to accommodate my mug but the varmint wouldn’t shift.

In the end a fish slice did the job. Turned out the coaster was stuck on with candlewax. No idea how that happened unless someone had put a candle on top of it. An unusual act in our house.

We do have a supply of emergency candles somewhere in the utility room or at least we used to. We have only ever had to resort to them once which was during one of our annual Christmas carol singing parties. Was the most atmospheric singsong we have had. Carols by candlelight genuinely due to a power cut. We rarely get power cuts nowadays. At this time of year we don’t need candles anyway as it is still light until quite late.

Milkman came at 03:01. V early. Can’t work him out. Maybe he varies his round times to avoid making it easy for ambushers. We still have a pint and a half in the fridge from Monday’s delivery!

Step ladder
Long pole
Spare paint?
Roller paint things
White spirit
Sandpaper
Floodlight bulbs
floodlight?
Painting clothes 
Plants
Garden tools

Rained overnight which is a bit annoying as I’ve lots of stuff in the back garden to load in the car to take to the tip. Don’t think rain was forecast but that comes as no surprise. Should be a warm enough day ahead so things should dry out.

Can’t complain. We need rain. The lawn is brown in parts. Found the sprinkler when clearing out the potting shed yesterday but might not need it now. Not today anyway.

I’m up early again. I go to bed early. One leads to another. Not sure which. Could be either. It is my turn to make the tea so up early is good.

Some interesting sports on at the Olympics today. The usual athletics, sailing and canoeing but also speed climbing and graeco roman wrestling. Not sure either of those two do it for me. Speed climbing sounds unnecessarily dangerous and the wrestling makes me think of the movie “Airplane”. A lot of other sports on too.

I can’t for some reason get Discovery + to cast to the telly. There’s nowt wrong with the chromecast or the computah as casting other tabs works. It must be something specifically related to the Olympics broadcast. Feels strange to think they have somehow blocked the casting of the Olympics when the Discovery + site itself gives tips on how to cast. 

Maybe it will just work today. I’ll also try it from my laptop and on the telly in the TV room though that is no use to me during the day as it’s been on in the shed and I’ve popped in every now and again to watch in between jobs.

…

There are more jobs to be getting on with this morning. The continuation of the garage tidy up and fixing the flippin curtain rail in our bedroom. This one appears on the list every year or three. The issue is screwing into the ceiling above the bay window. It’ll get sorted, again.

Last night was quite revealing at the Olympics. The Swedish pole vaulter won easily and broke both Olympic and world records. He was already the world record holder. He added a centimetre to the height of his previous record and appeared to clear it easily. The commentator said he was on a bonus from his shoe sponsor every time he broke the record so he does it in increments of 1 cm. Very clever.

Good to be back in the shed, early. Weather forecast is set to be fair and warmer than in Deauville. Shed doors wide open with a view over the wildflower meadow that has flourished during our absence. A good watering should help it even more.

The whole garden was very much on the dry side. I suspect we are going to throttle back on trips away during future summers. After all, the UK is great at this time of year. We really only went to France because of the Olympics. Not that we didn’t have a great time.

The whole trip was full of highlights: Olympics rugby sevens, Band of Brothers sites around Utah Beach, Chez Roger, the horse racing at Deauville, Honfleur harbour and finally Rouen which beat expectations especially the hotel which is going to get a great review. Can’t say Paris itself was a highlight. You can understand why everyone tries to get away from the place during the summer months.

Came back with a load of coins. They are always v handy for things like parking, tips and shopping trolleys. Should have shifted them all really as I must have about twenty quid’s worth. 

I remember many years ago we used to get visitors from Hughes Aircraft Co in LA. They would hand over notes to pay for rounds of drinks in pubs and get a load of coins back as change. Eventually they would end up with a huge pile of coins but still paid for their drinks with notes as they didn’t want to look stupid trying to figure out which coin was worth how much. Thems were the days. Quite heady days actually when I worked in the space industry. The contract values were high and Marconi had no objection to me splashing out loads of dosh entertaining. I wasn’t even a salesman! 🙂 

Home now. No place like it. There is a growing jobslist. I especially need to mow the lawn and cut back on some overgrowth at the back of the potting shed. Ivy growing everywhere. Also the front hedge needs a bit of a tidy. Then there is the great potting shed tidy up. That one has been on the list for a long time (over a year probs) and this is the week it gets done. It all fits together.

The apple crop is looking good for this year. We keep meaning to press them as loads just get left on the tree and the ground. Perhaps I’ll pick that one up as a project this year. See how that one goes. We are mostly around. The cooking apples look particularly good. Apple and blackberry crumble for the win.

Milkman came at 05.37 this morning. This beats his previous record, also on a Monday, by seven minutes. Did he stay up late to watch the men’s 100m final? Blink and you missed it. Interesting to contrast the speed of milk delivery with the 100m race 🙂 

Delivering milk is not all about how fast you get there. It is more about freshness and reliability, as long as it arrives in time for the cornflakes. Does anyone I know have cornflakes for breakfast? We stopped decades ago when word went around there was more nourishment in the cardboard box than in the cereal, allegedly.

…

V productive jour, I mean day. Thought I was still in France for a minute. Must be the fact that the Olympics in Paris are on the telly. Anyway I crossed one job off the list but it took me all day. The potting shed has needed sorting for a couple of years. Got to be a dumping ground.

Having previously made strides with sorting the garage I was able to move the wardrobe from the shed to the garage. Don’t get me wrong. There isn’t a wardrobe in the garage now but there are bits of wardrobe. It was a solid wood job and I wasn’t going to chuck wood that could be repurposed. It’s components are leaning tidily against a wall on top of a couple of batons to keep it off the ground. There ya go.

Now there is a pile of crap in the back garden that needs taking to the tip tomorrow. Feet were filthy as I was wearing sandals to do the clearing out. Don’t worry, I’ve had a shower. Healthily tired.

Now watching Keely Hodgkinson in the 800m final. Noted that six of the runners are wearing orange trainers. Mine are luminous green. Dirty luminous green. Don’t wear em that often tbh. Usually to play golf. There isn’t a dress code where we play golf 🙂 Laughterton.

Keely won yay. Well done our Keely.

A grey start to the UK day as the ferry approached the Portsmouth naval dockyard. Everything seems grey coming back into the UK though some if that may just be down to the fact that my phone is still in night mode and the grimy windows on the boat.

In the onboard cafe the mode is still very much French. Croissants and pain au choc with not a bacon sarnie in sight. That will wait to a more sensible time. It is Sunday after all. I think.

Now sat in the car on deck six awaiting the nod to disembark. Fortunately no one has switched on their engine yet though I can see a few lights on.

We’re off.

Somewhat fatigued now after two weeks in France. We are both looking forward to getting home. Sat in the boarding queue in the drizzling rain. It’s v humid but if we open the window for fresh air the rain comes in.

Pre boarding is nine fifteen but actual boarding is eleven o’clock for an eleven thirty departure. Doesn’t sound enough time to get everyone on and the hatches secured in my mind but I know nooothing. It isn’t like the Hull to Rotterdam ferry where they let you on hours before departure time so that you can spend more money on board. No idea what pre boarding means in our case.

Couldn’t get a priority disembarkation for this boat which also means priority boarding as they put you in the front of the queue. First world problems. The worst thing is the six thirty arrival. They wake you up at least an hour before which means four thirty CET and body clock time. Huh.

Have moved forward to a small security queue. One of the chosen ones! Can’t see whether the guy has his gloves on 😉  We are watching the Olympic swimming on THG’s iPhone. Well she is. All I can tell you is it takes me a good minute to do a 25m length, regardless of whether it is breast stroke or front crawl. THG is much faster than me and always goes in a different lane for faster swimmers.

Time to move on from Deauville. Figured we would stay the night in Rouen afore catching the boat homeIt is seven thirty five and we don’t need to vacate the premises until eleven so still a bit of chillin on the balcony time. Breakfast is a simple granola, yo’ gurt and berries plus finishing off the Normandy ham wot I bought yesterday.

Never made it to the bar at the Normandie. Another time. Actually we liked Deauville but not sure we would specifically return here to stay overnight. It is a cracking seaside resort and very popular with trendy Parisians but it is really a giant beach with lots of bars and restaurants and a few other holiday type resources such as a golf course, racetrack, tennis courts and watersports. 

Now I guess that would do for most but I think I preferred Honfleur for its history and quaintness although you would definitely need a place to stay with onsite parking. We had originally booked Hotel L’Absinthe in Honfleur which did have parking but decided that we would prefer self catering and Deauville came up with the goods.

In Rouen we are staying slap bang in the middle of all the action and have valet parking. Here are the keys my good fellow, or words to that effect. Our bags are more or less packed and we just have an overnighter to take in to the hotel. Sagood system. Will arrive early to take advantage of the fact that umpteen museums and old buildings are located within easy walking distance.

We will be near to place du Vieux-Marché and I anticipate loading up with meats and cheeses to take home though not discussed that with THG. Experience has shown that local markets are fantastic places to buy food. Far better than supermarkets. A bit obvs maybs but it is so.

Horses amble by on the beach opposite. I wonder if any of them were racing yesterday. As we left the hippodrome last night there were quite a few horse boxes in motion. Cracking racetrack btw. We paid twelve Euros to sit in the stand right on the finishing line. Bargain. There were people on hand to fend off the hoi polloi who had only shelled out five Euros from coming in 🙂 We did consider dining in the Terrasse restaurant but went up there and there was hardly anyone in with not much atmosphere. The menu was a bit too much on the posh side for those of us who merely wanted a simple steak frites avec une verre du vin rouge. The racetrack is a hundred and sixty years old and one of the top ones in France so they tell us. Defo a step up from Market Rasen.

The speciality in Rouen is duck apaz so that’s tonight’s menu sorted. Just a question of finding the least touristy restaurant in which to eat it. Looked up the best gaffs on Tripadvisor and none of the top three seemed to serve duck. All looked a bit designery. I’m sure the food is v tasty but at this stage of the trip we ain’t after fancy stuff. May be speaking out of turn but I doubt it. Probs booked up anyway.

Just seen a boat float very slowly in front of our dock. I thought to myself hmm that boat is going very slowly. Then the small rubber dinghy with a tiny engine came into view. It was pushing the bigger boat. They ain’t going far. This is life on the balcony in the Marina in Deauville as reported by moi as it happens.