How to eat half a grapefruit. For the purpose of this post it is assumed that the grapefruit has already been cut in half. These instructions are applicable for any type of grapefruit be it yellow, pink or any other sort. Are there other sorts of grapefruit? For those people eating tinned grapefruit the segments have already been removed from the pith/skin/zest/shell and you should refer to separate instructions not supplied herein.
The half a grapefruit should be placed in a low sided bowl. The low sides are important in order for the grapefruit to be easily accessible for eating. A sharp knife should be used to cut around the edge penetrating as far into the core as possible and then the segments should be sliced from the centre out to facilitate easy extraction. It isn’t particularly important that the cuts follow the line of the segments unless you’re a bit anal about this sort of thing which I’m not.
The choice of spoon used in eating half a grapefruit is very personal. Some prefer teaspoons and some dessert spoons. Soup spoons aren’t particularly suitable although if that’s all you have then they may be used. I don’t really mind which I use but dessert spoons do have the advantage of being able to gather more fruit in one go than the humble teaspoon. Wooden spoons should not be used and big serving spoons are hugely over the top – get real.
Once spoon selection has been made there are two other acts of preparation that must be made before the act of eating commences. Wearers of spectacles should remove them and place at a reasonable distance away from the grapefruit bowl. This is to ensure that no grapefruit juice splatters the lenses whilst eating. A spot within easy reach but outside splash range will be fine. Then any other items susceptible to “splash damage” such as this laptop screen should have the lid closed and moved a short distance away, in my case to the left.
You are now ready to eat your grapefruit. Take the chosen spoon and whilst holding the fruit down with one hand scoop out the flesh, working your way around until it has all been eaten. Then the spoon should be used to scrape away the remaining fruit stuck to the sides.
Once eaten it is perfectly acceptable to remove the shell from the bowl and tip the bowl up so that you can drink the juice that is inevitably left at the bottom. I’m ok with drinking straight out of the bowl but this is somewhat to do with your upbringing. Others might lift their noses up at this and prefer to use a spoon. Personally I think you get more of the juice by drinking directly from the bowl. Sup to you.
Once eaten the grapefruit skin should be placed in the compost bin and the bowl and spoon arranged neatly in your dishwasher.
This is a technique tried and tested over sixty years and has been proven to be very effective. I trust the reader will find these instructions useful and have years of enjoyable grapefruit eating ahead of them.
…
Breakfast this morning will be brunch. Having eaten the half grapefruit I am now drinking tea in the snug. All the ingredients for breakfast are out on the butchers block but it is the Sabbath after all and there is no immediate rush. I’ve checked the jobslist and there is nothing particularly immediate or urgent on there. Some of the jobs are for next year. I am cooking pork chops for dinner tonight but the prep for that can wait. It’s just sorting out the ingredients for the sauce.
I was only going to have avocado toast for breakfast, perhaps with a bit of bacon but THG informs me the avos ain’t ripe yet so plans have changed. There is half a tin of baked beans that needs finishing off so I’ll be chucking a few other bits into the mix to make it more interesting.
…
Agonising decision to be made in the spices, oils and vinegars aisle in Waitrose. I needed some more cumin seeds. They only sell ground cumin at THG’s usual shop but Waitrose, recognising that some recipes will need whole seeds, stocks em. £1.75 for a small jar. The agonising bit was the offer of two for £3.20. I couldn’t think of anything else we needed and there was no point in buying two jars of cumin seeds because one jar lasts a long time. Only bought the one jar! Was only a 30p saving for goodness sake 🙂