Have you heard of Mary Mary,
the first of the gardening bimbos?
Charlie Dimmock in a frock,
she liked her flowers in rows.
She’d plant them all down the middle,
her borders exclusively grass,
well, you’d be a bit contrary
with your first name the same as your last.
Then a king was moved to send all his men,
all of his horses too,
so who was this Humpty-Dumpty?
Was he plotting a coup?
Was he pushed when he fell off the wall?
Did he survive or die?
Has there been an enquiry?
We English don’t like to pry.
But to me, the biggest conundrum of all,
(it’s a question that’s always been begged)
with no mention of how he looked in the text,
why is he portrayed as an egg?
And as for that Georgie-Porgie,
he was after more than kisses.
Pecks on the cheek weren’t on his agenda,
George was serial sex-offender.