I met a golden fish,
With a evil wish,
To use his magic eye,
And put me in the sky,
Now up there I won’t know,
What’s going on below,
He’ll steal my mobile phone,
To dial his way back home!
golden magic fish eye
February 13th, 2010junkyard
February 13th, 2010I met a metal man,
His head was just a can,
Then I spied his wife,
Her finger was a knife,
I also saw their son,
His screws were all undone,
And when I pet the dog,
My hand scratched on a cog.
Guest beers 12th Feb 2010
February 12th, 2010Batemans Miss Canada 4.1% £2.95
Steaming Billy Bitter 4.3% £2.95
Titanic Anchor 4.1% £2.95
Batemans Victory Ale 5.9% £3.20
My dad (Alun)
February 12th, 2010my dad (Alun)
who has lived long and intends longer
plays golf
of course
on his birthday which comes around faster
each time
battery charged
ready for another eighteen
with Eileen (my mam)
who takes the money
and puts it behind the clock on the proverbial
mantelpiece, which keeps going.
Used-To-Be
February 9th, 2010You’re time-expired, you’ve been retired, cold-shouldered from the job-scene,
you’re surplus to requirements, a sad, discarded has-been,
your use-by date has come and gone, you’re on the shelf from this point on,
you see yourself rejected, diminished and demeaned.
the cerse of vurse
February 8th, 2010terse
short verse
longer the poem
rhyme gets worse
struggling spelling
words need nurse
death of language
remove in hearse
see dave – I can do rhyme 🙂
The Curse of Verse
February 7th, 2010For some who choose to sip from the Spring of Hyppocrene
rhyming’s like a virus for which there’s no vaccine;
our poems read like excerpts from traditional pantomime
Beware you would-be wordsmiths, the curse of verse is rhyme
Rhyme’s merely ornamental, a sort of literary glue
fun when writing doggerel or limericks or clerihew
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cocoon
February 7th, 2010I sit here in my cocoon gazing at the football grey February morning. The only sounds are the muffled voices of people outside the envelope punctuated by the occasional thud of ball.
Cars turn up and doors slam. The electrified East Coast line marks one boundary but no trains yet. It is Sunday morning.
From my vantage point I can see the whole pitch. The green of the grass is in noticeable contrast to the otherwise dull winter scene surrounding the ground.
Attend your own wake
February 5th, 2010Don’t wait until you can’t attend the party. How many times are there when you get all your old mates together in the same room? Probably not since your wedding. Well now’s the chance. Don’t wait until you are dead. Conduct your own wake now. Chose the music, what you want to say about yourself, the venue!
Only problem is that if people know you aren’t actually dead will they come to the wake? Avoid the embarrassment of finding out who your real friends are by suggesting they have their own wake at the same time. That way they will definitely want to come.
Guest Beers At The Victoria 5th February
February 5th, 2010Derventio “Et Tu Brutus” 4.5% £2.95
Derventio Winter Gold 4.0% £2.95
Exmoor Gold 4.5% £2.95
Tom Wood’s Harvest Bitter 4.3% £2.95
Guest beers at the Victoria – 22 January 2010
February 3rd, 2010Everards Sunchaser 4% £2.95
Hopback Cropcircle 4% £2.95
Fyne Ales Highlander 4.8% £2.95
Harvestown Haggis Hunter 4.3% £2.95
Broadoak Perry (pear cider) 7.5% £2.00
They were obviously trying to shift the Perry
disturbance of the peace
February 3rd, 2010the dishwasher is on in the kitchen again. it is very relaxing. in the same category as photocopying but different.
the house is quiet – other than a debate going on upstairs regarding who has rights to the hot water from the immersion heater. unlike the water it isn’t a heated debate. more of a vocal eyebrow raise.
I can hear the bath running and the downstairs toilet flushing. outside it is raining though it is a silent rain.
then the peace is disturbed…
The Funeral Service
February 2nd, 2010The service was due to start at 2pm but by 1.40 if you weren’t already in you weren’t going to get a seat. We sat there in our Sunday funereal best biding our time. I was glad I had dressed soberly although I had considered doing otherwise. This didn’t stretch to a tie.
The arm wrestle
February 1st, 2010I’ll not have any 9 year old kid beating me at arm wrestling thank you!