where art collides philosoperontap

I am reliably informed that as well as wild boar, cheese was one of the staple banqueting items of our forefathers when gathering for the winter solstice festival at Stonehenge.

This being the case and today being the winter solstice I have been out and purchased some fromage. Three different types of cheddar. I wanted a bigger Dambusters than they had so we opted for a second. Joe liked the second but I was only ok with it so we threw in one more for good measure.

Also got three different goats cheeses as the pack of two was a bit on the small size. Threw in a wodge of Old Amsterdam, some Epoisses, a nice brie de meaux and some smelly blue Spanish stuff that was very similar to Roquefort but I can’t remember its name. I think that was it. We beat a hasty retreat with two bags of the stuff, now in the fridge in the garage.

I made the bit about cheese and Stonehenge up btw but I understand that archeological evidence supports the wild boar hypothesis. You can actually picture prehistoric man gathered around the fire eating bacon and brie sandwiches. Special occasion after all. Couldhave/wouldhave/shouldhave happened. Tomorrow I’ll nip to Fosters for the meat. Will include a bit of descendent of wild boar.

Now back in the shed waiting for it to get dark so that we can get on with lighting fires and roasting game. I do have a brace of pheasant and partridge hanging in the garage courtesy of @Simon Forshaw but they won’t be ready for this evening and I am anyway planning a game pie for sometime over the festive break. I’ll take the rabbits as well thanks Si and I might chuck in some venison for good measure.

Feels a smidge early to be breaking out the mead it only being a Tuesday and despite it being the final run in to Christmas. Tomorrow we have the carol singing at the Morning Star where plenty of mead will be consumed. Not really mead. Just metaphorical mead. More likely to be Guinness with maybe the occasional dram thrown in for good measure seeing as it is Christmas.  

There will be a nice firepit on the go, reminiscent of the winter solstice at Stonehenge. Hope to see you there. All are welcome.

I’ve held the carol Singing at the Star for a few years. Some time before that there was an old guy called Norman who used to tinkle the ivories in accompaniment to us all singing. The intro for each carol was identical so you couldn’t really tell which one was coming up, other than the fact that it would have been the next one on the page. Tomorrow night the singing will be acapella.

Notwithstanding all this I have the Crusaders on in the shed playing Street Life. One of my faves and just feels right at the moment. As night begins to fall it is almost as if the Crusaders are on stage in the corner of a club banging out their stuff. Soon the lights will come on. I feel an irresistible primordial urge to celebrate the solstice…

Don’t know about you but I had a great night’s kip last night. Went to bed around nineish and slept through until 6am, afaik. Unless I did a bit of sleepwalking. I dreamt no dreams. Twas indeed the classic dreamless sleep above which the silent stars go by.

This morning I breakfasted well on two slices of brown toast and half a grapefruit and am now in the shed addressing the issues of the day. The greatest issue is the pressing need to mop the floor inside the shed door. 

This relatively straightforward job is made slightly less straightforward in that my mop has only a half length handle. It was purchased in order to facilitate the cleaning of the greenhouse glass for which a shorter handle makes more sense. The shed floor however needs a full length mop if I am to avoid having to crouch down to clean the floor.

I know the cynics amongst you will challenge this with “what’s wrong with crouching down, I do it all the time when searching for my dropped contact lens” but I live in a world where life has been made easy for me. It is akin to the days of the Roman empire where the ruling classes would be seen to lie on chaise longues and be fed bunches of grapes.

Reality is that on a Monday morning I like to get my brain around anything that needs doing workwise before the day gets going. The first item on my works list says “butcher”. This is not a work item but I stuck it in my work calendar so that no rash individual would book a meeting with me thereby scuppering said planned retail expedition. We do need a trip to the butch but the Christmas meat shop can wait until tomorrow where my whole day is blocked out for a “work” pub crawl in York which ain’t now going to happen.

The winner is the shed floor. I’ve decided I need a big mat for the entrance but the mopping has been accomplished. Need to let it dry now before reentering.

…

Just returned from a successful Christmas shopping trip. Just 3 people to buy for and nailed it. Can’t say any more just in case they are reading this, knowworramean…

It is Monday of Christmas week. Christmas Day, being Saturday, is still a fair way off yet but we are in the final run in. I assume most of you have your plans sorted. Ours are very much phased:

1. The Sainsburys shop to use up all the Nectar points (£155) was completed last weekend. I don’t collect Nectar points and there are few places to spend them.
2. The Waitrose delivery is due tomorrow between 1pm and 2pm. I have just under two hours to add anything but it isn’t a biggie as I’ll be doing a Waitrose run first thing on Friday morning
3. Carol singing in the Morning Star Wednesday evening – 7am start if you fancy coming along. Will be in the heated marquee so plenty warm.
4. The meat run to Fosters will take place Thursday. I expect to have to queue.
5. That last minute trip to Waitrose as you know happens on Friday. This is to buy fresh fruit and veg and bread plus anything else I think I might have missed or just feel like buying anyway cos it’s Waitrose and it’s Christmas. Probs go early. Waitrose opens at 7am on Christmas Eve. If I can get there for 7am I will although it will to some extent depend on what pre Christmas festivities happen on Thursday night. Lbefine.
6. Friday afternoon is listening to the wireless whilst I get myself sorted for the big day. Maybs rope in a few veg preparers. Do the brandy butter. That kind of stuff.
7. Friday evening will involve picking up takeaways. Chinese from Tang on Newland Street West and Indian from Castle View, Two of the best. I’ll do the Castle View run and have a beer there with the owners. We give people the choice – mix and match Indian and Chinese or just one of them for starter and main.

Historically we used to go to the Morning Star for early doors on Christmas Eve but latterly the crowd there has been unfamiliar to us so we may not go this year, especially with the looming spectre that is covid. See how it goes.

Thassitfernowseeyalater

This morning I offered to cook the Davies lads breakfast. They are all home, for the moment. However I am the only Davies lad up and at it and am happy to dedicate a few moments of reflection on a settee in the front room. The settee is surrounded by bags of Christmas decorations.

The coffee table in front of me has six bags of chocolate tree decorations. Make that 5 bags. I scoffed one last night. There seems to be a dearth of these items in the supermarkets (singular actually) I frequent so I ordered some online and this particular order was a pack of six. Must have been a good deal. The problem is the chocs are a bit on the small side. Good job there are 72 of them. 60 I mean.

Whilst waiting for some company at brekkie I have busied myself replacing broken light bulbs, one in Hannah’s room and another in the kitchen. There is a third, in the kitchen, that needs doing but I can’t get at it until another pile of empty Christmas decorations boxes is moved back to its place of storage in the garage. Another job to be getting on with. It’s a 2 person job because someone needs to hand the boxes up to me on the ladder.

Alan Titchmarsh is on the wireless – Classic FM. This is very cushy gig for Al. He just sits there reading out some links between the music thinking of the chink chink of the till after the show when someone counts out some gold sovereigns into his outstretched palm. 

The other seasonal media item that immediately springs to mind is the Coca Cola advert. It’s a full length movie designed to make us feel good about Christmas ending with a communal Christmas Dinner where the only drinks to be seen are bottles of full fat coke. Doesn’t sound like a very representative lunch if most people I know are anything to go by. I won’t need reminding not to buy any full fat coke.

One final observation is that today is the last date for posting a letter if you want it to get there before Christmas and only have second class stamps. That of course will be no use to you if the letter is the one to Santa. Your only recourse here will be to opt for Parcelforce Worldwide express24, AM, 9 & 10 which you can leave until Thursday.

The only thing I’d say is what on earth are you up to leaving it this late to get the letter off to Santa. For one, regardless of any perceived SLA on offer, it is a bit risky. 

The second thing is that it is all very well getting the letter there but if it doesn’t arrive until Christmas Eve that doesn’t give the Elves much time to get everything processed and onto the sleigh. Especially with the staff shortages being created by the Omicron variant.

Moreover one assumes that each letter has to be properly scrutinised by the “has this boy or girl been good” committee. How do we know that this esteemed body of worthies don’t down tools themselves after lunchtime on the 24th and head to the pub or get the last minute grocery shopping done.

Your problem not mine.