Suspended animation.
Awake early. Again. Just after 5am. Lay in bed with a big decision in front of me. Should I get up and go downstairs and do something or stay in bed? In bed was a state of extreme coziness. Outside of the comfort of my down duvet it was cold and uninviting. Too early for the central heating to have kicked in.
I wouldn’t say my emotional state was anything like anguish but it was headed mildly in that direction. Staying in bed fully awake was a bit like being in suspended animation. What a waste of time. A valuable resource. I wasn’t dozing I was just lying there awake with thinking being the only activity I could perform.
Devoting some time to thinking isn’t a bad thing. These can be creative moments. I like sometimes to set aside time to do this sort of thing. Not sure people typically do it but why not? A bit like setting time in the calendar for business brainstorming or planning. This isn’t planning per se but if you want to get the most out of life you have to do stuff. I don’t want to look back and not be able to feel I’ve made good use of it. Mind you when I get to that stage I will probably have other things to think about.
The problem with lying in bed just thinking is remembering those thoughts afterwards. What I really need is to be able to dictate mental notes that I can later retrieve. In reality what happens is that note has to be something particularly significant for me to remember it. Otherwise it is consigned to a big pile of other mental notes that are not catalogued, indexed or otherwise made easy to find. I might get lucky and come across it again when shuffling mental notes but usually it is gone.
I’m not sure how I can even tell you this as in order to do so I have to have remembered that mental notes were made and subsequently lost.
Gotta go and make the tea…